It is Law Enforcement

I will never forget the conversation Wayne and I had about five years back on his desire to pursue a job in law enforcement. I was young, and truly did not know the affects that a job in law enforcement can have on a newly married couple, let alone new mom. I was the first to tell Wayne that I will support him no matter what he chooses to do, and deep down looked forward to the steady pay check, benefits, and an investment in our future.

What you don't think about are the long hours, and crappy schedules. It is always around the holidays that I feel the affect the most. I open invitations to Christmas parties that I know I have to go alone to. It is walking back to the car after Thanksgiving dinner, with only my little buddy. It is leaving places at night knowing that Hunter and I will go to sleep without our favorite guy home with us. It is waking up at 5 in the morning, wondering where my husband is. It is text messaging at midnight wondering if he is on his way home. It is laying in bed listening for the sound of the garage door opening. It is looking for something to do in the evenings while everyone else is home with there families. It is taking care of a sick child during the night by yourself.

Not only does it affect me, but it affects our families. It is telling my mom two months before Thanksgiving that Wayne has to work, and watching her face melt in disappointment. Or Wayne's worried family who don't know how late he was at work, but are relieved to hear that he is home and in bed when we talk in the morning. It is Wayne's worried brothers who wish they could be his partner just to be out there to protect him. It is waving goodbye from the balcony wishing he would just turn around and come home. It is what it is..... It is the nature of the beast. It is law enforcement.

Fortunately,tomorrow there will most likely only be pros to a career in law enforcement but tonight it is only cons. It comes and goes with the seasons.